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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
