Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
