It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
