All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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