I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
