You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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