I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
