i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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