Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
