kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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