I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
