Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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