Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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