I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
