The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
