you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
