got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
