so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
