Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
