don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
