Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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