Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
