U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize