just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
