Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
