am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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