I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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