I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
