I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
