his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
