your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
