Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
only you would photoshop your dick
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
