Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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