I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
