Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
