Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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