ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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