Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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