We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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