I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
