That's intense
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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