Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
