whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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