Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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