i wish my penis had a tongue
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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