In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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