just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
