Don't you send me to vm
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
