i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
