so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
