how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Randomize
