she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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