You're so nebulous sometimes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
