so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
