There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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