thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
