Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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