We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
