Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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