all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
