I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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