Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
