Im at strip club and am horny
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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