I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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